Mixed Feelings (Part 3)

This is the culmination of the "mixed feelings" weekend. I am sure there will be lingering feelings of confusion throughout the coming weeks as well. It's a good thing to be able to write about it though. It helps me analyze my thoughts and emotions and help me better to evaluate and re-evaluate myself, and the decisions I will be making in the weeks and months ahead.

Part 3 has very little to do with photography, but I am glad I was able to take pictures to document this little, albeit significant, transition in my life. I am alone again. No, I have not broken up with anyone! I've been single for two years now, and it's really not a big deal anymore. But last Friday my best friend and roommate of two years, Renate, has finally found an apartment for herself and moved out.

Before she left she placed a bouquet of lovely spring roses on the dining table. What a pleasant surprise to come to after a long day at work! But it was also a sad moment of sorts. Even though I've been single I've never really been alone. Renate has always been here to comfort me, cheer me up, and pester me, whether I liked it or not! The sight of her crouched in my black leather sofa, a laptop it tow, either updating her Facebook status or playing Purble Palace, will definitely be missed!

I am happy for her though. Finally she gets to sleep in a real bed! And I can't wait to check out her new apartment. It's a bit far from the city center, but nearer to where she works.

Although I am no longer a religious person, I am sure that the events that have transpired all have to do with the greater good. SOMEBODY UP THERE felt that I wasn't ready to be alone during the two years that Renate was here. And now, I am ready. I've matured even more, and even though I am going to be alone now, heaven knows for how many more years, I now possess the wisdom and the patience to NOT make the wrong decisions! This is it. I am ready to stand up for myself. A scary thought, but this is a part of growing up.


So now I just have to make sure I don't spend my time alone moping. Not that I intend to either. My schedule is packed! Many hours will be spent at work, and the rest will be divided evenly between working out and going out to take photographs.

I am sure everything will turn out ok.

Renate will surely be missed. But we're still colleagues, so I am sure it will not be too long before I start hearing from her again!